dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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