Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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