Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
