Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.

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(205): View more from Alabama

This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Sex on roller skates

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Floating mattress

(301): View more from Maryland

Tie

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(+61): View more from Australia

That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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(605): View more from South Dakota

he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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(678): View more from Georgia

i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.

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