We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
