Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
