omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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