Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
