Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
