Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
