whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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