Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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