I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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