Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
