I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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