so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
