who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
