Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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