her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
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She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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