your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
