O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm passing your future prison.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
