it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
