I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's always time for handjobs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
