you guys were way drunker than both of me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize