**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
