help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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