I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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