I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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