why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
