So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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