Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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