Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
