I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
