Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Send help, water and tortillas.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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