If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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