It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
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Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.