He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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