you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
