and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
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