Just cropdusted the office
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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