my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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