Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
