Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
