I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
