we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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