So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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