Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
