Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
