My brain says no but my pants say off.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
