No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize