My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize