I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
