we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
