he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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