I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
