i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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