He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
