Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
