would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
