okay pat passed out under dana's car
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
