After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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