How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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