Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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