No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
