they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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