I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
