you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we're making bets on your personal life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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