He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
