This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
